Wednesday, November 29, 2006

How do you choose...

Which bathroom stall to use? I have a small fear of public bathrooms. Well, not of the actual bathroom, but of the germs living and breeding in the bathroom.

Because of this fear I often have a hard time picking a stall in which to do my business. This leads me to my question:

How do you choose a bathroom stall?

Ahhh, the good ol' days....

So I was reminded during a conversation with Allison, yesterday of my Junior High days. By the way, according to Allison, I am the third coolest person in the church office.

I was not cool in junior high. First of all, I had a mullet. I loved it. I wanted to grow my hair long but my mom said no. So it was a mullet for me. Secondly, I wore Guns 'n Roses T-shirts almost every day.

The thing that really set me apart from the cool kids was Monica. I was infatuated with Monica. She was a bad girl. I remember seeing her smoking in the mall. Awesome. She had no idea I was alive. I was a poser bad kid, she was the real thing.

One day I decided to declare my love for her by writing, I love Monica on my hand. This is painful to write, it actually hurts me to write these things down.

After that, she noticed me...in the exact wrong way. I think she sort of pitied me, I don't know, because we never spoke.

Monica disappeared in the 8th grade. Wild rumors spread all over the school about her.

I think I'll have a reoccurring post dedicated to my stupidity with women. Sweet.

Monday, November 27, 2006

The Lights are shinning...

So the day after Thanksgiving, I got out the ladder and hung the Christmas lights.

My house looks like Clark Griswold's from Christmas vacation. Around the garage I have the large, multi-colored lights. Three strings of them. They rock.

Then there's the 6 foot light up tree. It has 8 functions that change the pattern of the lights. It is awesome.

Then, Maggie's favorite, the snowman. It lights up and is very happy looking. An instant classic.

Lining the walk way are 12 light up candy canes.

But the main event is the projector. Yep, falling snowflakes right over the front door. One word, classy.

I'm proud to say that ours was the first house on the block to be decorated. I think I'm even prouder that the second was my next door neighbor. The Christmas spirit spreads fast.

Hopefully we'll pick up the tree this weekend.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Pass the gravy...

Every year I get super excited about Thanksgiving dinner. I love the food and I love being with my family. This year we'll be at my parent's house which means I get to eat the food I grew up with. It's always weird going somewhere else for Thanksgiving. The turkey is cook differently, the stuffing isn't the same.

I'm trying to decide the right way to go about my Thanksgiving prep. Do I eat large meals today to get ready, or do I eat lightly. The goal tomorrow is to consume as many calories as possible. That is only possible if today is handled appropriately. So far I've only consumed a few donuts, but I'm thinking about increasing my calories as the day wears on.

We're eating at 3 tomorrow followed by seconds (or thirds) later in the afternoon. I've got some eating to do.

Turkey, pie, and 3 NFL games...sounds good to me. Thanks Pilgrims!

Monday, November 20, 2006

Now that's refreshing...

So, I'm sitting at my desk just minding my own business and enjoying a delicious protein shake. OK, maybe not delicious, but drinkable.

I go to pick it up, assuming that the lid is tightly screwed on and in place.

Not so much.

The whole 20 ounce mess spills all over me and now, I look like I've peed myself.

I had to go home to change out of my now messy, sticky clothes.

Nothing like 3 showers in one day to make you feel clean.

Attention PS3 seekers...

I heard a story on the news this morning. A man trying to turn a profit on a PS3 met the "buyers."

Instead of cash the guys brought pepper spray and ran off with the PS3.

Merry Christmas.

Friday, November 17, 2006

OK....

So you know when you get to Dashboard on blogger? Has anyone "switched to the new blogger?"

Is that the beta version? Do you like it?

Should I switch???

I'm so confused.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Accent...

I think I'll start talking in an accent whenever I don't want to talk to someone.

I mean, could you really take someone seriously if they spoke to you in a British accent?

What about German? That would throw me off.

I just think that talking in an accent would confuse the person talking to me and they would walk away.

By the way, I hear the tip off of whether an accent is real is the "th" sound. If it sounds like and F, then the accent is legit. Start practicing.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

It's never a good sign...

When you call home, just to check in, and your wife has to call you back because your baby is screaming at the top of her lungs.

Call me crazy, but when that happens, run for the hills.

If you try to make things better, you'll regret it.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Checkmate...

I've decided I'd like to learn how to play Chess. I bought a book, The Idiots Guide to Chess, and a cheap chess set and I'm on my way.

I don't know why I want to play chess. I think it will be challenging and fun and I guess I think it will make me seem smarter than I am. I want to be like Gill Grissom on CSI...that guy is smart.

I bet Grissom plays chess.

Back when he used to post, Jake, had a brilliant discussion going about the best fast food breakfast.

Until today, I was sold out on the Egg McMuffin as being not only the best, but the perfect breakfast food. While the McMuffin is still great, there is a new sandwich in my heart.

The Ultimate Breakfast Sandwich from Jack in the Box.

It is a thing of beauty to behold. I don't want to know too much about it because I think the nutritional information alone would give me a heart attack. But it is awesome.

By the way, Jack in the Box has breakfast available all day now. That too, is awesome.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Mold...

We have mold in our kitchen. Black mold. According to the "mold guys" this is "toxic." I don't know if I "believe them" or not but I'll tell you this... it is going to cost me a ton of money to get this junk removed.

They use all these "filters" and "fans" to "remove" all of the "spores" that somehow make you "sick."

I'm conflicted. On one hand I think they're scam artists playing on the fears of people that have seen the news stories about this mold. On the other hand I'm freaked that someday one of my girls will go to the doctor and find that something is terribly wrong with them. The doctor will decide it is "mold related" and I'll have to kill myself for not having it removed.

So while my "gut" says that this is a bunch of "crap" my guilt says I have "no choice" but to shell out the "cash".

One word...

Courtney, I accept your challenge,

You can only use one word...
Not as easy as you may think.

1. Yourself: Awesome
2. Your girlfriend/boyfriend: wife
3. Your hair?: graying
4. Your mother?: nurturing
5. Your Father?: mentor
6. Your Favorite Item: iPod
7. Your dream last night: dreamt?
8. Your Favorite drink: diet
9. Your Dream Car: old
10. The Room You Are In: office
12. Your fear: emptiness
13. What you want to be in 10 years: pastor
14. Who you hung out with last night?: family
15. What You're Not?: rich
16. Muffins: overrated
17: One of Your Wish List Items: force
18: Time: 9ish
19. The Last Thing You Did: ate
20. What YouAre Wearing: casual
21. Your Favorite Weather: 75
22. Your Favorite Book: Potter
23. The Last Thing You Ate: McMuffin
24. Your Life: full
25. Your Mood: stressed
26. Your body: dreamy
27. Who are you thinking about right now? kids
29. What are you doing at the moment?: typing
30. Your summer: fast
31. Best part of your life: daughters

Easy… JG, you’re up.

By the way, numbers 11 and 28 aren't there. Weird.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Sometimes I wonder...

If all of this technology is really a good thing. Do I really need so many ways for people to get a hold of me?

Cell phone, email, IM, texting...it goes on and on. Some days it feels like my phone doesn't stop ringing. My email box has to get full sooner or later, doesn't it.

Don't get me wrong, I like being able to get a hold of my friends and family, but for goodness sake, Sprint has a GPS on phones now. So now, if you can't get someone to answer their phone you can find out where they are. Sure for now this only works with people on your plan, but soon you'll be able to locate anyone, anywhere. Scary.

I'm not afraid of technology, in fact, I embrace it. But sometimes I'd like to be able to sit in a coffee shop or bookstore and not have to be on the phone the whole time.

Sometimes, I'd just like to be quiet.

I'm not even kidding, the stinking thing is ringing again.

After reading this post it occurs to me that "a hold" is a strange phrase. Is that the correct terminology? Something seems weird.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Ever had one of those days?

Where you just couldn't wait for it to be over.

I'm having one today. Tomorrow doesn't look so hot either.

Sad news indeed...

There are few things in this life that are as sad as a childhood hope getting crushed. One of my fondest dreams just died.

Going through Maggie's Halloween candy I came across one of my all time favorite candies... the Tootsie Roll Pop. Orange. There isn't much better than that.

Out of habit when I opened it I looked for the kid aiming at a star with a bow and arrow. In elementary school this was required, for if you happened to be fortunate enough to see this image you won a free Tootsie Roll Pop. I never tried to redeem on of my stars but I always knew I could...until now.

My latest TRP didn't have the star. Undaunted I decided to check the Tootsie website to see if such a deal still exists, only to find IT NEVER DID.

According to the FAQ, Tootsie shows no record this deal ever existing and they have no idea of how it started.

I'm off to drown my sorrows in a bag of Halloween candy.