Too Late...

All my life I have wanted to be cool. Today, for the first time, I realized that it is now too late.

I am not now, nor will I ever be cool. This is not an easy thing to admit. I have lived in denial of this for so long but now it seems so clear. Let's consider the facts:

1. Favorite Movie--The Empire Strikes Back. While this is the cool choice among other Star Wars fans it only makes you cool to them...you're still a Star Wars geek. You're even worse if you call it ESB like I do.
2. Favorite Book--The Harry Potter Series. I love these stinking books. I think they are amazing. The fact that 11 year olds all across the world agree with me offers little solace.
3. Make and model of car--Ford Explorer Sport. In itself not an inherently uncool car...unti..
4. Person car was purchased from--my mom...ouch.
5. First Concert--George Michaels. I have never admitted this to anyone at any time but I actually bought a "Faith" T-shirt. Now I'm getting depressed.
6. I have seen Grease 2 and Footloose too many times to count.
7. I know all the words to the "Jojo's Circus" theme song. This is slightly made better by the fact that I have small children who love Jojo. The fact that I need to see how each one ends is probably a bad sign.
8. I care WAY too much about my lawn. I spend far too much time and far too much money on trying to make it grow and stay green. I also got very excited when I planted some fruit trees this summer.
9. I have a Palm Pilot phone. This isn't sleek or shiny. I don't have downloaded ringtones. It is huge and gets hot when I talk on the phone. It is probably shrinking my brain. Not cool.
10. I have never seen a single episode of Lost, The OC, Prison Break or 24. The show Laguna Beach makes me tired and sad and last year I got way too into American Idol.

I'm going to stop there because I think you get the point. If I were 16 I might be able to work on a few of these but at 30 I think it's just easier to accept that I am not cool.

Oh well.