My Birthday...

So it was my birthday this week. 31. Awesome. The best thing about turning 31 is that you've already turned 30. The wounds have healed.

We took the kids to Disneyland and had a great time. The highlight was that Maggie met her hero...Cinderella.

It was amazing. OK, so every morning, as soon as she wakes up, Maggie asks to put on her Cinderella dress. She watches the movies (yes there's a Cinderella 2 and yes it's horrible) and she wants to hear stories about Cinderella all day.

So we went to a show to see her and then got in line to get her autograph. Maggie was wearing her Cinderella dress (of course) so the usher came and got us so we'd be first in line.

The girl playing Cinderella was wonderful. She was so cool to Maggie and made her feel so special. Maggie got to sit on her lap and get pictures taken. When it was all over Maggie wanted to stick around so she could look at Cinderella. What happened next was amazing.

Cinderella saw Maggie looking at her and told us she'd walk with Maggie if we stayed put. So Maggie got to hold hands with her and walk through the Hollywood part of California Adventure. Cinderella danced with her and told her she was a beautiful princess. Maggie got to spend one on one time with Cinderella for like 15 minutes.

That was the best present I got for my birthday. Well, that and my new tattoo...it's awesome too.

Baby Jesus...

Maggie gets it. She's two and a half, and she totally gets it.

I asked her what Christmas is all about and she said, "Santa brings me toys."

"Isn't Christmas about something else, too?" I asked.

"Baby Jesus."

I made fun of my wife for two things she bought this year. First she bought a Fisher Price nativity scene. Maggie loves it.

The second thing was a read aloud bible. I just thought Maggie was too young to get anything from it. Luckilly, not only did I marry out of my league, but my wife is also way smarter than me.

We've been reading the Christmas story to Maggie at least once a day for the last two weeks. She brings the book to us and says, "Read Baby Jesus story?"

How do you say no to that?

One day Jeni was reading it to Maggie when Maggie said, "I want to go to heaven with Baby Jesus."

Jeni told me it almost knocked her down. We've really struggled over what to teach our kids about Christmas. On the one hand, believing in Santa is a part of childhood. On the other hand, we want to teach our girls about Christ.

After this I asked Maggie if she loves Jesus, she said yes. She also said that so does Daddy, Mommy, Papa and CC (my mom and dad) and Santa. She said Santa and Jesus are friends. I think that is a cool mix.

You know, right now Maggie only knows that Jesus loves her. Because she's a kid her response is to love him back. She gets it. She hasn't been bogged down with doubt or theology. She hasn't yet tried to figure it all out. She feels loved and she responds with love.

I find myself wishing that I did the same thing. I really want to take some time out in this busy time of year to remind myself that Jesus loves me. It's so simple, but I forget.

It can be humbling when a two and a half year old teaches you things.

And the winner is...

The Golden Globe nominations were announced this morning. You can see them all here.

Just like always, I haven't seen most of the nominated movies. I did see "The Departed" and it was awesome. Lots of "F" bombs, but still a great movie.

The TV nominations are great. I'm pulling for "The Office" for comedy and "Heroes" for drama.

Once again, "Dancing with the Stars" didn't get a nomination. Whatever.

There's nothing good on TV tonight...

Wednesday used to be awesome. America's Next Top Model. Dancing with the Stars. Now, there's only Top Chef...and that doesn't come on until 10.

What am I supposed to do, talk to my family?

Please.

White Elephant Gifts...

So tonight we have a little get together with our small group. Should be fun execpt...we are doing a white elephant gift exchange.

I don't like it. Not at all.

I like the funny gifts. I like the ugly, crazy regifts that pop up. What I don't like is two hours of sitting around exchanging them.

The rules are confusing. Sometimes you get to steal a gift, but that gift can only be stolen twice and then the gift is off the table. Or you can choose a gift from the pile or one from someone esle, and then they can choose a gift from the pile or from someone esle, and so on and so on.

Plus, I always get my feelings hurt if no one wants to steal the gifts I brought.

I think this could be fun if it lasted say, a half hour. But they're always like a game of Monopoly. They take forever and stop being fun about half way through.

By the way, I'm bringing a "Pooping reindeer." It's a candy dispenser but it looks like the deer is pooping. Very junior high. I love it.

It has arrived...

We finally have our Christmas tree!

It is 8 feet tall and is awesome. 300 lights adorn this fine specimen of a tree.

It is finally Christmas time.

Now, if it would just get below 80 degrees, we'd be in business.

Do you think...

God dislikes disciplining us as bad as I dislike disciplining my kids? Well, to be fair, kid. Chloe is only 8 months old...she hasn't done too much that requires discipline.

I hate disciplining Maggie. Let me make one thing clear, when I say discipline, I mean "time out." We don't spank...yet.

I give Maggie a two minute time out when she does something wrong. I hate it. She cries and looks at me like she doesn't get what's going on. She gets so sad. After the two minutes are up, I go to her and explain what she did that got her in trouble. Then I tell her I love her. Usually she's could have gotten hurt or hurt her little sister.

I was just wondering if God feels the same way when He disciplines me. Does He wish I would just do what He asks the first time? Does he count the seconds until my punishment is up so He can comfort me and tell me He loves me? How does it make Him feel when I keep doing something He's told me over and over agian not to do?

Just some questions. Any thoughts?

Christmas tree shopping...

We don't have a Christmas tree yet. This brings me more pain than I can possibly express. NO CHRISTMAS TREE!!

Jeni wants a real tree again this year. Look, I'm all for the real tree, smells good, looks good. But the problem is they die. Quickly.

And they aren't cheap. An 8 footer will put you back at least $150. $150 for a dying tree.

Meanwhile, a fake tree, will last you a lifetime. They come pre-lit, which, let's face it, is their biggest "pro." I hate stringing the lights on a tree. I never get it perfect.

Plus, you put in a box, throw it in the garage and then, next year, boom, you've got a tree.

I don't know how much longer I can go without a Christmas tree. It just isn't natural.

You know...

Some people are just idiots. They can't help it, they just are.

The sad thing is, they don't know they're idiots.

At least I hope they don't know it. I have found that the biggest problems with most idiots is that they don't listen.

Idiots.

How do you choose...

Which bathroom stall to use? I have a small fear of public bathrooms. Well, not of the actual bathroom, but of the germs living and breeding in the bathroom.

Because of this fear I often have a hard time picking a stall in which to do my business. This leads me to my question:

How do you choose a bathroom stall?

Ahhh, the good ol' days....

So I was reminded during a conversation with Allison, yesterday of my Junior High days. By the way, according to Allison, I am the third coolest person in the church office.

I was not cool in junior high. First of all, I had a mullet. I loved it. I wanted to grow my hair long but my mom said no. So it was a mullet for me. Secondly, I wore Guns 'n Roses T-shirts almost every day.

The thing that really set me apart from the cool kids was Monica. I was infatuated with Monica. She was a bad girl. I remember seeing her smoking in the mall. Awesome. She had no idea I was alive. I was a poser bad kid, she was the real thing.

One day I decided to declare my love for her by writing, I love Monica on my hand. This is painful to write, it actually hurts me to write these things down.

After that, she noticed me...in the exact wrong way. I think she sort of pitied me, I don't know, because we never spoke.

Monica disappeared in the 8th grade. Wild rumors spread all over the school about her.

I think I'll have a reoccurring post dedicated to my stupidity with women. Sweet.

The Lights are shinning...

So the day after Thanksgiving, I got out the ladder and hung the Christmas lights.

My house looks like Clark Griswold's from Christmas vacation. Around the garage I have the large, multi-colored lights. Three strings of them. They rock.

Then there's the 6 foot light up tree. It has 8 functions that change the pattern of the lights. It is awesome.

Then, Maggie's favorite, the snowman. It lights up and is very happy looking. An instant classic.

Lining the walk way are 12 light up candy canes.

But the main event is the projector. Yep, falling snowflakes right over the front door. One word, classy.

I'm proud to say that ours was the first house on the block to be decorated. I think I'm even prouder that the second was my next door neighbor. The Christmas spirit spreads fast.

Hopefully we'll pick up the tree this weekend.

Pass the gravy...

Every year I get super excited about Thanksgiving dinner. I love the food and I love being with my family. This year we'll be at my parent's house which means I get to eat the food I grew up with. It's always weird going somewhere else for Thanksgiving. The turkey is cook differently, the stuffing isn't the same.

I'm trying to decide the right way to go about my Thanksgiving prep. Do I eat large meals today to get ready, or do I eat lightly. The goal tomorrow is to consume as many calories as possible. That is only possible if today is handled appropriately. So far I've only consumed a few donuts, but I'm thinking about increasing my calories as the day wears on.

We're eating at 3 tomorrow followed by seconds (or thirds) later in the afternoon. I've got some eating to do.

Turkey, pie, and 3 NFL games...sounds good to me. Thanks Pilgrims!

Now that's refreshing...

So, I'm sitting at my desk just minding my own business and enjoying a delicious protein shake. OK, maybe not delicious, but drinkable.

I go to pick it up, assuming that the lid is tightly screwed on and in place.

Not so much.

The whole 20 ounce mess spills all over me and now, I look like I've peed myself.

I had to go home to change out of my now messy, sticky clothes.

Nothing like 3 showers in one day to make you feel clean.

Attention PS3 seekers...

I heard a story on the news this morning. A man trying to turn a profit on a PS3 met the "buyers."

Instead of cash the guys brought pepper spray and ran off with the PS3.

Merry Christmas.

OK....

So you know when you get to Dashboard on blogger? Has anyone "switched to the new blogger?"

Is that the beta version? Do you like it?

Should I switch???

I'm so confused.

Accent...

I think I'll start talking in an accent whenever I don't want to talk to someone.

I mean, could you really take someone seriously if they spoke to you in a British accent?

What about German? That would throw me off.

I just think that talking in an accent would confuse the person talking to me and they would walk away.

By the way, I hear the tip off of whether an accent is real is the "th" sound. If it sounds like and F, then the accent is legit. Start practicing.

It's never a good sign...

When you call home, just to check in, and your wife has to call you back because your baby is screaming at the top of her lungs.

Call me crazy, but when that happens, run for the hills.

If you try to make things better, you'll regret it.

Checkmate...

I've decided I'd like to learn how to play Chess. I bought a book, The Idiots Guide to Chess, and a cheap chess set and I'm on my way.

I don't know why I want to play chess. I think it will be challenging and fun and I guess I think it will make me seem smarter than I am. I want to be like Gill Grissom on CSI...that guy is smart.

I bet Grissom plays chess.

Back when he used to post, Jake, had a brilliant discussion going about the best fast food breakfast.

Until today, I was sold out on the Egg McMuffin as being not only the best, but the perfect breakfast food. While the McMuffin is still great, there is a new sandwich in my heart.

The Ultimate Breakfast Sandwich from Jack in the Box.

It is a thing of beauty to behold. I don't want to know too much about it because I think the nutritional information alone would give me a heart attack. But it is awesome.

By the way, Jack in the Box has breakfast available all day now. That too, is awesome.

Mold...

We have mold in our kitchen. Black mold. According to the "mold guys" this is "toxic." I don't know if I "believe them" or not but I'll tell you this... it is going to cost me a ton of money to get this junk removed.

They use all these "filters" and "fans" to "remove" all of the "spores" that somehow make you "sick."

I'm conflicted. On one hand I think they're scam artists playing on the fears of people that have seen the news stories about this mold. On the other hand I'm freaked that someday one of my girls will go to the doctor and find that something is terribly wrong with them. The doctor will decide it is "mold related" and I'll have to kill myself for not having it removed.

So while my "gut" says that this is a bunch of "crap" my guilt says I have "no choice" but to shell out the "cash".

One word...

Courtney, I accept your challenge,

You can only use one word...
Not as easy as you may think.

1. Yourself: Awesome
2. Your girlfriend/boyfriend: wife
3. Your hair?: graying
4. Your mother?: nurturing
5. Your Father?: mentor
6. Your Favorite Item: iPod
7. Your dream last night: dreamt?
8. Your Favorite drink: diet
9. Your Dream Car: old
10. The Room You Are In: office
12. Your fear: emptiness
13. What you want to be in 10 years: pastor
14. Who you hung out with last night?: family
15. What You're Not?: rich
16. Muffins: overrated
17: One of Your Wish List Items: force
18: Time: 9ish
19. The Last Thing You Did: ate
20. What YouAre Wearing: casual
21. Your Favorite Weather: 75
22. Your Favorite Book: Potter
23. The Last Thing You Ate: McMuffin
24. Your Life: full
25. Your Mood: stressed
26. Your body: dreamy
27. Who are you thinking about right now? kids
29. What are you doing at the moment?: typing
30. Your summer: fast
31. Best part of your life: daughters

Easy… JG, you’re up.

By the way, numbers 11 and 28 aren't there. Weird.

Sometimes I wonder...

If all of this technology is really a good thing. Do I really need so many ways for people to get a hold of me?

Cell phone, email, IM, texting...it goes on and on. Some days it feels like my phone doesn't stop ringing. My email box has to get full sooner or later, doesn't it.

Don't get me wrong, I like being able to get a hold of my friends and family, but for goodness sake, Sprint has a GPS on phones now. So now, if you can't get someone to answer their phone you can find out where they are. Sure for now this only works with people on your plan, but soon you'll be able to locate anyone, anywhere. Scary.

I'm not afraid of technology, in fact, I embrace it. But sometimes I'd like to be able to sit in a coffee shop or bookstore and not have to be on the phone the whole time.

Sometimes, I'd just like to be quiet.

I'm not even kidding, the stinking thing is ringing again.

After reading this post it occurs to me that "a hold" is a strange phrase. Is that the correct terminology? Something seems weird.

Ever had one of those days?

Where you just couldn't wait for it to be over.

I'm having one today. Tomorrow doesn't look so hot either.

Sad news indeed...

There are few things in this life that are as sad as a childhood hope getting crushed. One of my fondest dreams just died.

Going through Maggie's Halloween candy I came across one of my all time favorite candies... the Tootsie Roll Pop. Orange. There isn't much better than that.

Out of habit when I opened it I looked for the kid aiming at a star with a bow and arrow. In elementary school this was required, for if you happened to be fortunate enough to see this image you won a free Tootsie Roll Pop. I never tried to redeem on of my stars but I always knew I could...until now.

My latest TRP didn't have the star. Undaunted I decided to check the Tootsie website to see if such a deal still exists, only to find IT NEVER DID.

According to the FAQ, Tootsie shows no record this deal ever existing and they have no idea of how it started.

I'm off to drown my sorrows in a bag of Halloween candy.

Halloween...

This is the first year that Maggie really "gets" Halloween. She loves the idea of the free candy. Last night we went to the Halloween thang over at California Adventure and it was pretty cool. Maggie decided at the last minute that she'd like to be Cinderella. Since we already have the dress (and shoes and tiara and wand and gloves and purse...sick I know) it was an easy costume.

I'll say this, the people that work at Disneyland, while sometimes rude to adults, are awesome with kids. The referred to Maggie as Cinderella and kept asking her if she had both of her shoes. I haven't seen the movie lately so it took me a few minutes for that to register.

Maggie had about 4 Tootsie Rolls before we cut her off. Good times.

The thing is sometimes I have to wonder about how they decide which characters will be available for autographs. We waited in line for about 30 min to see three princesses. The way they work this thing is that you can't see the princesses until you get through the line. I was expecting Cinderella (Mag's favorite) or at least a Snow White. Who'd we get? Freaking Mulan, Jazmine and Pocahontas. I have no idea if I spelled these "princesses" names right and frankly I don't care. My kid wants Cinderella. Belle. Sleeping Beauty. You know a Princess.

I know that to those of you who a) don't have kids or b) don't have girls, this doesn't seem like a big deal. But I assure you, to a two year old who thinks she IS Cinderella it is a very big deal. It took me like 2 hours to shake off the disappointment.

I'm better now.

Teeth...

It's amazing how much a little thing can get me down. I've had a piece of food stuck in between two of my teeth since breakfast. Seeing that breakfast is almost always eaten in the car, and I don't carry floss around with me, I was unable to do anything about it.

It reminded me of that old kids story about the lion that gets a thorn in his paw. A really small thing causing tons of discomfort. I'm tempted to make this into some kind of story about my personal faith, but I'll resist. Nobody reads this to hear those kinds of things.

Instead I'll just say that when I finally got some floss and got that little thing out of there I felt much better.

Now I can be grumpy for no reason at all.

More and more...

I keep finding them. They're spreading all over. Grey hairs. I don't like this at all.

It started about a year ago. One single grey hair over my left ear. No biggie. But now, the situation is getting out of control.

At this rate I'll be completely grey by 32.

I promise you this though, I'll never dye my hair. Too much upkeep.

How early is too early...

To start listening to Christmas music? I used to hate Christmas music of all kinds. I decided that this was decidedly Scrooge-like behavior and need to be dealt with head on.

I began to listen to all kinds of Christmas music and soon began to like it. I think the way to go is to listen to Christmas albums from people you already like. If you try to listen to Kenny G's Christmas album you aren't going to like it, but that isn't the music's fault...it's Kenny G's.

The question I have now is how early is too early to break out the Christmas music. I'm thinking right after Halloween is too early, but I don't want to wait until after Thanksgiving. If you wait until after Thanksgiving don't even bother. That gives you what? Four weeks of Christmas music. Too few, far too few.

I'm thinking the second week of November sounds good, maybe a tad earlier. We'll see.

Sometimes I wish...

Here are some things that I wish would happen.

Sometimes I wish that people would just do what I told them to do. They'd be happier.

Sometimes I wish that I could TiVo more than 2 shows at once. What are you supposed to do when there are 3 sometimes 4 shows on. Sure 2 TiVo's might help, but I only have one HD TV.

Sometimes I wish I was rich. Filthy rich. The kind of rich that makes you go, "Dang that guys rich." MTV Cribs rich. Bill Gates rich. I'm not proud of this but it's true.

Sometimes I wish I could have a motorcycle.

Sometimes I wish I had super powers. Or magic. No, the Force. I always wish I had the Force.

Sometimes I wish the Greenbay Packers could win a game.

These are just a few of my wishes. You got any?

The weather...

I know it sounds weird, but the weather totally affects (effects?) my mood. It goes so far to even influence the music I listen to. There are just certain bands I can't listen to when it's cold outside. Here are my fall/ winter music choices:

1. Sufjan Stevens. This one is new to me, but he is really cool and folky. Sounds like he belongs on the Garden State soundtrack.
2. Tori Amos. I know, very fem, very 90s. I can embrace that.
3. Colin Hay
4. Damien Rice. Good stuff.
5. Iron and Wine. Maybe too cool for me.
6. Yo-Yo Ma. He plays the cello. So good. Try it, you'll like it.
7. Tom Waits. I can't stress this enough. Go to iTunes, buy some Tom Waits (start with Rain Dogs) and listen to it incessantly. You might not like it at first, but you will. And when you do, you'll thank me.

You know, if I really think about it, I've been getting ready for the winter for a while now. Most of my music purchases have been in this vein. Anyone else have seasonal music?

Hello?

Anyone there?

Modern Medicine...

You just have to love modern medicine. OK, so, I have this heart condition called A Fib. It's really called something else, but it's called A Fib for short. It means my heart beat is abnormal. The sucker gets up to 200 beats per minute when I'm just lying around. For about a year now I've been on medicine to regulate it.

The medicine makes me tired. All day I drag my butt around. No matter what I do I'm always tired. So I asked the Doctor to change the medicine. He did. All day Friday I thought I had found the solution. I felt great. It was like a fog was lifted. Then came Saturday morning.

I took my medicine and proceeded to turn red. Really red. My whole body. I got hot and itchy. I looked like I had a sunburn. I called the doctor on duty and was told I had an allergic reaction. So now, I'm back on the sleepy medicine and I have to take a fistfull of Benedryll (have fun with that one Spell Check) to keep the itching under control. I'm asleep as I type this.

The lesson to take from this is...don't go to the doctor. Ever. He'll just find something wrong with you.

Friday the 13th...

Some random ramblings about this scary day:

I am sort of ashamed to admit I have never seen a Friday the 13th movie. None of them. I think I get it.

In Jr High I did however have a Jason costume. In Jr High it wasn't all that cool to dress up anymore. I wore black and put on the mask. Pretty simple. I think there were like 10 other "Jason's" at that party. Oh, this was also the first time I drank. Peach and Peppermint schnapps. Yes it is embarrassing that my first drink was so girlie. And gross. One more thing about that costume...my mask was a glow in the dark number. Top that...I dare you.

I'm not sure what the big deal about Friday the 13th is. According to Wikipedia, there is some evidence that Friday the 13th can be unlucky. More people get into accidents and go to the hospital. I think that has more to do with people thinking today is unlucky than it actually being unlucky. You know, sort of like the grim in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban...I mean, I have no idea about those books they're evil and for kids.

Now because I've said that today isn't unlucky I'll probably end up in the hospital or something. That will be weird. I haven't been in the hospital in a long time and I really don't want to go today. It will probably be more crowded. If I end up in the ER tonight I'll agree that Friday the 13th is unlucky. Until then, bring it on Jason.

So tired...

Chloe, my youngest daughter, decided she didn't need to sleep last night. This wouldn't be such a big deal if she didn't want company all night. It's like she wanted to stay up and chat. I rocked her for hours trying to get her back to sleep. She just stared at me with her huge eyes and a smile underneath her pacifier.

I am tired today. This is the kind of day that I curse every time I go to get a soda from the break room and remember we only have Diet Freakin' Pepsi. Nice. Insult to injury.

Funny sidenote...the blogger dictionary wanted me to replace freakin' with foreskin. That's funny when you're tired.

Well it has been a while...

I've been slacking on my blogging lately and for good reasons.

First, I have lousy internet service at home. No wireless signal anywhere around me. I don't have a router of my own, and no one around me seems to either.

Second, I have not been able to think of anything interesting to post. I've tried. But unless you think my opinion on tv shows is interesting, I just don't have much to say lately. (In case you care, Studio 60 and Heroes are the greatest shows on tv. Oh, and Jerry Springer better not win Dancing with the Stars...Emitt Smith should.)

I promise I will try to blog more.

Being sick sucks.

I hate it. I hate it even more now that I have kids. There was a time when I'd get sick and I'd lay in bed until I felt better. Yeah, not so much now. Now my girls know when I'm relaxing and they can't stand it. They go nuts. For some reason whenever I get sick (which thankfully isn't too often) and try to lay down my kids really want me to hold them. I think Jeni (my wife) puts them up to it.

There, now that I got that off my chest I feel a little better. Sometimes you just need to complain. Well, I do.

I'm sitting in a Starbucks and...

There's a dude totally dressed like a pirate. At first I thought it was just a long overcoat, but no. Totally Pirate. Big buckles, bandana...the whole 9 yards. I'm torn between sadness and respect for this guy. On the one hand, he's dressed like a pirate in a Starbucks and, you know, that's kind of sad. I mean, does he think he IS a pirate? Is he still celebrating "Talk like a pirate day?" On the other hand he is completely committed to this look. He isn't doing it half way. Does he dress this way every day? Does he just want to be Capt. Jack Sparrow? I wish I could follow him around for the rest of the day just to see what he's like.

It is comforting to know that pirates drink Starbucks too.

My messy car...

I don't know how it happened. About a month ago I decided to clean out my trash can (car) and keep it clean for a while. Let me try to explain the nastiness that is (was) my car.

I wasn't able to open the passenger side door. Well, I could open it but doing so would risk an avalanche of trash to spill out. Empty water bottles, diet coke cans, McDonald's wrappers, basically anything that was no longer useful was piled on the floor of the passenger side. This started small but grew so high that it was even with the seat. It was one level, I could place something on top of it and not have to bend down to reach it.

The back was worse. I had trash bags full of clothes that were supposed to go to Good Will months ago. Boxes of books and other crap that never made it to storage or the office or the nearest dumpster. It was embarrassing.

Of the 5 available seats only the drivers seat was open. Nice.

So one day I cleaned it out and spent $100 on a detail. I kept it looking sweet for about 3 weeks. Then, as it always does, life got crazy and my car is on it's way to trash can status again.

I honestly don't know how it happened. I do know this, I'm not happy about it. I'm so ashamed.

Back from a little blog vacation...

It seems as if I've been away for so long. Not only have I not posted in the last few days but my recent posts have been...Shall we say...Half hearted.

But that is all going to change. Here's what I've done in my time off:

• Just bought the Original Star Wars Trilogy on DVD. All though I wasn't interviewed on TV about these (nor was I invited to come along to such an interview--no problem JG) I don't think this is a waste of money. These are the originals. I will buy a new copy of any Star Wars movie that comes out. I don't always want to but I need to.
• Took the family to Disneyland. I got to go on Dumbo, Small World and the carousel. Watch out...too much fun.
• Planted some ground cover on my slope in the backyard. I'm scared to death that it will choke the life out of my trees. Fingers crossed.

As you can plainly see I have just had too full a plate to post. I'm glad all that's behind me. Just in time for the premier of The Office. Oh, I hope Jim and Pam can work things out.

Haircut...

I just got a haircut and it got me thinking...What is the socially acceptable thing to do if you don't like your new haircut? Can you tell the person who cut your hair? Is that person a barber or a stylist? How can you tell?

Here's the thing, about two years ago I was trying to grow my out my hair. About once every three or four years I think having long hair would be cool. The thing is I always have short hair so when I try to grow it out it gets to this awkward stage, between long and short.

So two years ago I walked into Toni and Guy without an appointment and asked to get a haircut. This was a bad decision, a very bad one. I told the girl (stylist?) what I wanted and she told me she'd do, "one of my favorite long cuts." I agreed and she was off, chatting and cutting away.

If you've ever gotten a terrible haircut you know that moment when you can just tell that this haircut sucks. For me this was when she pulled out the hair drier. If you've told the stylist (?) that you don't want to spend any time on your hair and the girl pulls out a hair drier you know she didn't listen. I mean honestly...a hair drier? Please.

So as she's drying my hair I can tell this is a bad thing. I am pretty non-confrontational so I didn't say anything. I feel bad because she's so proud of this haircut. I look at the reflection in the mirror and I look like Carol Brady. I'm not kidding, this was bad news.

Now I got this haircut at lunch so I need to go back to work but no WAY am I going back looking like Carol Freaking Brady. I go home and luckily Jeni's home. She tried not to laugh at me but agreed that I should shave this mop off ASAP. I had a buzz for two years after that.

Anyway, I like the haircut I have now, but what is the acceptable thing to do? Any thoughts?

So I'm torn...

They are now offering movies on iTunes which I think is pretty sweet. The only thing is they cost anywhere from $9-$13. That seems too expensive. How big is it going to be? Will it be as nice as the DVD? I mean if I watch it on my iPod that's what, a 3 or 4 inch screen? $13 for that size is just crazy. I'll probably try it though because I love technology (remember Napoleon Dynamite's brother singing that song to his bride...I love that song.)

Things I hate #2...

Membership cards. Why do we need to have a membership card to every stinking store we go to? Look. I'm all for saving money but do my keychain is getting ridiculous. Every time I go into a store to buy anything I'm asked if I have my membership card.

Other names for these cards are, value card, saving card, or my personal favorite, reward cards. Yeah that 15 cents saving is some great reward. Thanks.

It really isn't the card I have an issue with, it's more the cashier who asks for the card. If I don't have one they act insulted. It isn't a personal attack that I don't have an Albertson's card it's just that I only ran in to buy a few things and I do the majority of my shopping at Vons. Why do I need a card?

But as much as I dislike these cards, the real evil lies in the credit cards each store tries to get you to sign up for. Target, Nordstrom, you name it, it seems like every place you go into is just dying to give you 10% off if you open one of these accounts. I tell you that is just evil. Good luck getting a loan when you owe like, 30 stores a bunch of money because you've been using that convenient store credit card. Let me know how that works out for you.

Membership/reward cards and Store Credit cards...Evil and I hate them.

Five years ago...

I don't think I can post about much until I mention 9/11. I for one am not ready for all of the movies and tv shows based on this tragedy. I don't know anyone that was hurt or killed in the attacks personally but they rocked me to the core. I spent the better part of that day between tears and prayers. I have no desire to relive the feelings that went through me by watching a fictional account of the events.

I think remembering the attacks and the people who died in them is important. I think it is our responsibility to remember the 343 firefighters who lost their lives that day in order to save others. These men and women ran into the World Trade Center as it was crumbling in the attempt to save who ever they could. That is heroism.

Our lives as Americans has forever been changed as a result of 9/11, there is no denying that. Before then most of us never worried about what color our threat level was at. Until then Anthrax was a band that did a rock-rap song with Public Enemy. Until then it wasn't necessary to arrive at the airport 3 hours ahead of take off to make it through security. Until then terrorism was something that happened to other countries, not America.

Are we any safer today than we were five years ago? I don't know. Men and women much smarter than me (I hope) are doing all they can to ensure our safety. I do know that when I see pictures of the World Trade Center in flames and collapsing my heart breaks and I loose my breath. I do know that families lost loved ones as a result of that day. I do know that 9/11 in all likelihood will never be forgotten. I know I won't forget.

Did anyone else see this gleaming jewel of television???

This show Celebrity Duets is awesome for all the wrong reasons.

Like a car wreck you can't turn away from this show sucks you in right from the start. It is obvious that this is Fox's attempt to cash in on the Dancing with the Stars, Skating with Celebrities thing.

The singing is horrible. If this show was American Idol, these "stars" would be on the first episode with Simon laughing at them. Even the good songs are bad. It hurts to listen to. But that is when the magic happens. I dare you to watch it and turn away. Oh, you'll want to. Your skin will crawl and you'll feel embarrassed for everyone involved in the show, but you won't be able to tear your eyes off the screen. The saddest thing is watching these "stars" sing and then think they were awesome.

You just know we're in the end times when shows like this hit the air.

I don't really have anything to write about today...

But I have this HUGE project at work and I am putting it off for as long as possible. I have fooled myself into believing that if I work great under pressure. The truth is I'm procrastinating.

The perfect food...

I just had a wonderful breakfast of the perfect food. It turns out that this is actually the perfect meal. Two Egg McMuffins and a large Diet Coke...perfect.

If you love Diet Coke you owe it to yourself to have a McDonalds Diet Coke on a regular basis. I think they must have their own recipe or something because it is simply divine.

Egg McMuffins are delicious and good for you. I don't care what that Morgan Spurlock guy says.

I usually try to eat really healthy but every once in a while you need a couple of Egg McMuffins. If you only eat oatmeal and tuna all day you will go crazy. This is proven by science.

Also, it turns out that McMuffins are actually good cold too.

I thought this was pretty cool. It is a list of things that college Freshman have grown up with. Check out number 30.

Very interesting...

I have done my best to avoid making this blog all about my daughters and the cute things they do. I am totally one of those parents who could easily talk about nothing except my kids. They are awesome and make me laugh every day.

But I also appreciate that this can become tiresome to those who don't either a)know my kids or, b) have kids themselves. But I love being a dad. I love other dads who love being dads. I love hearing stories about other people's kids. Usually because then I get to tell a story about my kids and my kids are awesome. So here's a story about one of my kids...

Maggie is two and getting to be really funny. She knows how to make me laugh and has a good time doing it. Her vocabulary gets bigger every day and it amazes me when we have conversations.

Last night Maggie fell down...hard. Jeni and I aren't the kind of parents that freak out every time she falls down. She doesn't usually cry when she falls down. Last night she was running around and ran right into someone that didn't see her. It wasn't his fault but she went down hard and hit her head on this concrete bench. From my viewpoint it looked like she hit the corner and I thought we were for sure going to the hospital.

Luckily I was wrong. Although she face planted she just got a bump and a scrape on her forehead. My adrenaline was pumping and my heart was racing. It was scary. I could tell she was ok but I couldn't calm my body down. I was reminded of how much I love this little girl.

Maggie and Chloe are...I can't even think of the words, but I guess the best way to say it is, Everything.

I know this was a small thing, there wasn't even any blood, and I'm sure I'm overreacting, but it was such a good reminder to make sure I tell the girls I love them everyday and take care of them as much as possible.

I refuse to become that guy that follows his kids around making sure they don't get hurt. Maggie isn't going to start wearing a helmet. But I only have a few years to really take care of them and teach them that they are amazing kids. Last night was a good reminder.

Too Late...

All my life I have wanted to be cool. Today, for the first time, I realized that it is now too late.

I am not now, nor will I ever be cool. This is not an easy thing to admit. I have lived in denial of this for so long but now it seems so clear. Let's consider the facts:

1. Favorite Movie--The Empire Strikes Back. While this is the cool choice among other Star Wars fans it only makes you cool to them...you're still a Star Wars geek. You're even worse if you call it ESB like I do.
2. Favorite Book--The Harry Potter Series. I love these stinking books. I think they are amazing. The fact that 11 year olds all across the world agree with me offers little solace.
3. Make and model of car--Ford Explorer Sport. In itself not an inherently uncool car...unti..
4. Person car was purchased from--my mom...ouch.
5. First Concert--George Michaels. I have never admitted this to anyone at any time but I actually bought a "Faith" T-shirt. Now I'm getting depressed.
6. I have seen Grease 2 and Footloose too many times to count.
7. I know all the words to the "Jojo's Circus" theme song. This is slightly made better by the fact that I have small children who love Jojo. The fact that I need to see how each one ends is probably a bad sign.
8. I care WAY too much about my lawn. I spend far too much time and far too much money on trying to make it grow and stay green. I also got very excited when I planted some fruit trees this summer.
9. I have a Palm Pilot phone. This isn't sleek or shiny. I don't have downloaded ringtones. It is huge and gets hot when I talk on the phone. It is probably shrinking my brain. Not cool.
10. I have never seen a single episode of Lost, The OC, Prison Break or 24. The show Laguna Beach makes me tired and sad and last year I got way too into American Idol.

I'm going to stop there because I think you get the point. If I were 16 I might be able to work on a few of these but at 30 I think it's just easier to accept that I am not cool.

Oh well.

Things I hate...

I know, I know "hate is a strong word." Thanks for mentioning that. But I am going to start a list of all of the things I HATE.

This will no doubt upset some people (of the 4 reading this) but I DON'T CARE. Deal with it.

I HATE SCENTED CANDLES!!!

Who says I want to smell this, I'm sorry to say it but there just isn't another word for it, crap all day?

How do you know I like the smell you've chosen to whaft all through the office? Did I get a vote? Did anyone ask me???

And I know, I know, its just one candle....but that's the thing, it isn't just one candle. There are so many different scented candles burning in the office right now that I feel like I'm in a Yankee Candle or as I like to call it The Hell Store.

No. They did not. And I am too much of a coward to say anything to them about it but, dang.

Ladies, seriously, let's think about cooling it on these bad boys what do you say?

Caffeine

I love caffeine. Coffee, Diet Coke, Iced Tea...it doesn't matter. I love it. My new favorite form is the low carb Monster Energy drink. It is simply awesome. They have a 24 ounce XXL can that really packs in the caff.

There are two problems with this wonderful elixir. One I am not supposed to have caffeine as a result of a heart condition and two the can looks an awfully lot like a big can of beer.

Ok, for the first problem it really isn't a biggie. First of all what do doctors know about anything. How am I supposed to make it through a day with zero caffeine? I might as well not breathe. Secondly, I'm on medicine that keeps my heart beat under control, that's what its for. How do I know it's working if I don't drink caffeine?

The fact that it looks like a big ol' beer is a little more troubling. First of all, I am a recovering alcoholic. Then add on top of this that I work with Celebrate Recovery on the church staff and you can see why purchasing something that look even remotely like a beer gets my pulse racing. And don't forget I take medicine to make sure my pulse doesn't race. I am a huge beleiver that perception is reality, if someone sees me with what looks like a beer in my hand they will assume it was indeed a beer. That might not be fair, but it is true.

To make things even worse for me the energy drinks are almost always right next to the alcohol. I think this stems from the Red Bull and vodka thing, which by the way, never made sence to me. So say I'm in Vons and I need a little caffeine pick me up...to bad. They have it right next to the Buds and Coors and all of those guys. I won't go near that section.

All that to say I love Low Carb Monster Energy Drinks. I wish they looked less like a beer. I also wish my doctor would back off...what does he know anyway?

PS. I needed to look up the following words to make sure I spelled them right. Cafffeine, coffee, elixir, medicine and perception. I am a terrible speller which makes the fact that I majored in English even funnier...or is it more funny...

Celebrity sighting

I go to the gym during my lunch hour because I have two kids and my wife makes me stay home as long as possible. I go over to LA Fitness at what is usually a quite time of the day there. I'd love to work out first thing in the morning but right now it just isn't possible. Today though getting there around 1:00 was perfect timing. I got to work out with a celeb.

I wouldn't say he's an A-lister, or a B or C for that matter. But for a while there he was dang popular. I saw him and thought he looked familiar and then I saw it...the 98 Degrees tattoo on his arm. It wasn't Nick or his brother or the guy who looked like he was 40 but the other one.

In between sets he talked loudly on his cell phone. It was seriously so hard not to ask him some stupid question that you know he's been asked like a million times. Something like, "So do you still talk to Nick?" or "Do you still sing?" Something like that.

In the end I let him work out on his own but I will say this...

When you are at the gym, PUT THE CELL PHONE DOWN!

Back from Vacation...

My wife (Jeni) and I took our daughters (Maggie and Chloe) for a little vacation this last weekend. Our trip was basically designed around one thing...food. We have been dieting for the last two months so we took the opportunity to eat whatever we wanted.

I decided to do something for the first time on this trip and I engaged in one of those "menu challenges." You know that thing where if you eat this HUGE meal you get something for free. So I ordered the "AJ Gambler" a 35 ounce steak for $35. Eat the whole thing and get a free
t-shirt. I know, it doesn't seem like a great reward but still, I gave it a shot. My brother-in-law and my sister's boyfriend joined me in the challenge. Here are some things I learned:

1. If the food is bigger than your head you'd better be hungry.

2. Stay away from chips and salsa or anything else that will get in the way of the challenge food.

3. Medium-rare in a 35 ounce steak means raw...seriously, parts of my steak were cold. Opt instead for meduim-well to well done. The chef will butterfly your steak and the extra cooking shrinks the steak a good deal.

4. Walk away after the first gag...it will only get worse.

5. 35 ounces of steak is over 2 POUNDS. Even if you finish the steak it has to come out. This will not be pretty.

If I ever partake in this kind of foolishness again I will adhear to these lessons.

Anyone ever try this kind of thing?

So this is my first time posting and I've got to say, it feels a little weird. I'm not sure if anyone will ever read this but who knows.

By the way, the title of the blog comes from a Tom Waits song. If you don't know who Tom Waits is shame on you.

That is all for now.